im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
