so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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