All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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