Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
