one word: firstdatebathroomanal
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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