I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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