No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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