looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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