PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
