whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
