Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
