dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
