So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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