I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
