So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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