There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I will pee on everything he values.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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