finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
