Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
