I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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