Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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