I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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