There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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