The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
