I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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