some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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