Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
