he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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