I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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