I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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