im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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