Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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