dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
