i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize