How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
