kristin has been a bad kristin
Someone shit on the floor
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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