Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
they need to just BURY HIM!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
