I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
