With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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