You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
