yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
