Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
