YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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