so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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