i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
