the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
