I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
