member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Found the puke drawer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
