I wish my penis had an off switch
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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