If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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