Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
