Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
