Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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