"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
