I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
