I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
