whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just had sex bonerless
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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